When I was a kid in the Sixties there were some gross habits around. You know the ones, those yukky childhood behaviours practised whilst we were dreaming of being a clean-cut Buzz Aldrin.
Although some girls did join in the artistry, these habits were largely the preserve of young boys.
And so to kick off, we'll start with the nose.....
like all young 'uns I just couldn't resist picking it. I imagine I did it spontaneously as the need arose, most often in class!
The problematic part of the process was what to do with the excavated gem. I tended to opt for the pick it - roll it - flick it school of nasal mining but many of my friends and peers became bogey zombies as soon as they saw one!
After a short glimpse at the conk cockle it went straight in their mouths before you could say yuk!
Why the kid bogey should be eaten at all is a mystery to me but the practise continues today wherever young noses give up their gold.
Another foul habit my generation had was spitting. This activity came in many forms but was often the badge of the tougher kids and as such something I didn't really master!
The most common spitting technique was a robust clearing of the nose and throat to produce a huge mass of phlegm. This plug was spat at force sending it flying towards whatever was in the way like an airborne mutant amoeba.
The wet wad was affectionately known as a greeny, gob, oyster or grolly, however it must be remembered that hawking up was often practised by grown men and therefore cannot be claimed solely as yoof culture.
Spitting through the front teeth was, however: this particular technique often deployed by the wall leaners: those streetwise lads gathered along the school playground walls or the darker recesses of the school bus stop.
I can still see those skin-head hard nuts dressed in Skinner jeans, Ben Sherman shirts, paisley braces and big lace up bovver boots all gobbing like camels!
The creme de la creme of spitting was however the gravity - happy basting of the virtuoso pool maker. These seated artists, tough nuts darkening the porch walls of the local Youth Club, would create a continuous flow of saliva falling slowly to the ground, the only clue to its viscous descent being the occasional change in the stream when the spitter breathed.
The whole phenomena was reminiscent of a child insect dissolving the pavement. The pool at the base of that Youth Club wall was perhaps THE most disgusting thing I had ever seen.
Another distasteful juvenile practice was nose wiping. Normally this would not be a problem as most adults for example carried Kleenex tissues or a monogrammed handkerchief. Not so the human child.
Being tissue-free meant only one thing. The running nose was wiped along the school blazer's sleeve. The natural consequence of this was the creation of long wet snot trails along the arm, which crystallized during the day into glistening snail tracks for all to see!
The final habit I recall was kids sticking chewing gum underneath their school desks. To this day I'm not sure why.
Was it a form of winter storage like a squirrel hiding acorns? Did the chewer plan to return to salvage the thing to re-chew later? How would they know it was theirs? Did it matter?
The thought of chewing someone else's used gum filled me with dread back then, a morbid fear of third party saliva which ensured that I was not a desk depositor. My own Tutti-Frutti was always swallowed!
No doubt modern kids have similar despicable habits but these are just a few I recall from my own Sixties childhood.
Do they ring any bells readers?
