Plan 9 from the Planet Kleenex

I'm currently laid up with a dreadful cold. I just can't stop sneezing. I spent the night on the sofa with a box of kleenex watching Grizzly the horror movie. At some point I must have dozed, breathing solely through my mouth - not pleasant is it! - and got in bed at 5.15am. I woke to say ta-ra to the Missus, who was standing at a village Christmas fair and have been sneezing and watching films in bed until now. Warm duvets, sci-fi and horror films, a tried and tested cure for the common cold! Oh, and hot tea too.

Grizzly is one of those movies I can watch over and over. There's something relaxing about square-jawed wardens, vast American wilderness and wildlife on the rampage. The Snow Beast is the same. Nothing too taxing and lots of gorgeous unspoiled landscapes. Grizzly actually spawned a toy rubber bear, which we've covered before on MC.

This morning I began a trio of space vamp movies: Queen of Blood, Devil Girl from Mars and Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Queen of Blood I hadn't seen before but I've always loved the early Sixties psychedelic poster. I adored the strange title art ( the artist's name escapes me), the sets, the models, the cosmic colours and the music. Really startling. The Martian vampiress plot could have been a bit tenser but overall I enjoyed it, predating as it does Alien and and the very similar Lifeforce by decades. I understand that some imagery was borrowed from earlier films that Roger Corman owned. All in all, a great job by John Saxon (star of the great Black Christmas) et al. Do you like it readers?

Next up, Devil Girl from Mars, with one Gerald Anderson as sound editor! The oldest film of the three - a black and white from the Fifties - and sadly the least enjoyable. I found the pub setting a bit tedious but I did like Nyah the Martian trafficker. The spaceship was a bit clunky but the fireworks and smokey landing could have been from Thunderbirds, still a whole decade away. Is this one you like readers? 

Last but by no means least, Plan 9 from Outer Space by the great Ed Wood. Often branded as the worst film ever made, I'm enjoying it the most of the three and I'm only half way through ( tea break! ). It's a fabulous colourized version.  The plot is the best one - aliens raising the human dead to do their bidding. The cast is amazing: Vampira is hypnotic, Bela Lugosi is basically Dracula cloaking the whole time and Tor Johnson, he's just class - the scene where he rises from the grave is stunning.

Vampira is a fascinating actress, who previously hosted a horror show - she was the first such host - and was mates with Jimmy Dean no less. An American - Finn, her Finnish heritage famously questioned, the character Vampira is genius, what with the black garb and the claw hand walk, very much in the vein of Morticia but one that holds her own. Half of the movie to go. Are you a Plan 9'er?

One observation: the chrome airliners at the start of Queen of Blood and Plan 9 look to be the same! 

THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS

With a nod to Halloween tomorrow, I recently watched the comedy horror film, The Fearless Vampire Killers from 1969.

I remember watching it as a kid sometime in the Seventies on TV I think. I don't think I've seen it available on the telly since. Is that right?

I always liked the look of it though, the snowscapes, the castle and above all the garish costumes of the dancing vampire assembly.

The acting was superb as well; Alfie Bass as the hilarious innkeeper and Count von Kronach, the boss vampire; the bumbling Professor; Polanski his assistant and the hypnotic Sharon Tate.

One thing that was missing from the film I saw this summer online was an animation I remember being at the start. A sort of swirling cartoon of vampires and the hunters. What's happened to that?

I know the film has a chequered history in terms of names and countries - its also called Dance of the Vampires - but where is the intro cartoon now?

Can anyone find it online?

Oh, and do you like the film?

GONE UNDER FOR A BITE TO EAT

 

I saw these two toys of Junior's lying on the floor and I knew I had to recreate the infamous zombie eats shark scene from Lucio Fulci's movie Zombi 2.

Have you recreated any movie scenes with toys readers?

LIFTING THE LID

Hi Woodsy

The more you look, the more bizarre model railway figures you find. Here are are some more vampires by the German company Presier. 

Again, expensive, but very nice. A collection of these is not going to take up very much room, although you may not want to share your home with a hoard of vampires.

I wonder if there are any other famous movie monsters available ? I shall have to keep looking.

Paul Adams

New Zealand

FACIAL: A NEW YEAR'S TALE

Tapping into unaccustomed vanity I visited the beauty parlour on the high street.

I sat and dreamt of the town's New Year Ball as the beautician came closer.

It was during a vampire facial when the first atomic bomb struck.

The world held its breath and ...

ignited.

The welding blast stampeded the crowded streets. 

I writhed in my chair like a worm dipped in boiling blood.

I was gorgonised. petrified. vulcanised. vampirised.

My tongue and teeth fell out.

I rose on trunks, lumbered through the bubbling wasteland and  ....  changed.

Cauterised, a screaming larvae, I stooped crusting like cursed slag.

I fell among the singed stumps and slept a lifetime. I hardened and .... 

felt new canines sharpening.

An age passed. The world had turned.

I awoke like a tree-root straining. I stretched my fossils. 

I was unnaturally thirsty. I wormed my way out.

My first victim was drinking vodka one night by the trees.

I drank him whole.

I creaked among the hedges and remembered a vampire facial long ago. 

I had wanted to improve my looks. I was bitten but didn't know it. 

The A-bomb did something else.

Now I wait in the soil by day, the rank earth soothing my smelted eyes. 

My thirst is growing again. I know what I must do. My new resolution.

Mushrooming dreams crackle and ossify like midnight fireworks.

When the last December night descends I shall listen for a stranger smooth of skin, rise swiftly and as my mouth widens whisper ...

Happy New Year.

The End

*

If you enjoyed this short story you may also like

The Damnedest Thing

Vampirella - Trick or Treat by tony k

A Halloween Tale From The haunted Toy Box

Mrs. K looked at me with the bemused patience of someone watching a wayward child. 'What are you doing photographing a naked doll?'.

''She's not a doll... she's an action figure!', I replied somewhat defensively. 'And she's not naked!', I muttered under my breath.

I was actually photographing Vampirella; a 1/6 scale collaboration between action figure maestros Phicen Ltd/TB League, and Dynamite Entertainment, who own the Vampirella rights. 

If you don't venture out at the witching hour, Vampirella is a curvy comic book supernatural superheroine... a confusingly 'good' vampire created by Forrest J Ackerman and Trina Robbins.

 Vampirella, issue 1, flew onto the magazine shelves in September 1969. She was the sister publication to Warren's popular Creepy and Eerie magazines. An evocative front cover by Frank Frazetta set the standard and secured Vampirella's future as a seductive enchantress and fave femme fatale amongst comic book fans. 

Vampirella has been drawn by numerous artists over the decades. Each one bringing an individual look to the character. As such, a metamorphosis takes place, giving her a shapeshifting quality. 

 Arguably, the real continuity to the character's appearance is conveyed through her uncompromising costume; originally designed by comic book artist Trina Robbins. 

 It's fiery red retro-cut is instantly recognisable and reminiscent of a sixties go-go dancer - stylised, sexualised, dangerously revealing... it's not for the faint-hearted or politically correct!

Had she been published in the mid-fifties during the dark days of witch hunts and public comic book burnings, Vampirella would've been moral crusading author Fredric Wertham's arch-nemesis. 

 Thankfully Vampirella went to print in more enlightened times, when the innocent were free to chose their own comic book seduction and corruption.

TB League is the first company to produce a licensed 1/6 collectors action figure of Vampirella. Oddly for a successful comic book character, Vampirella has been under merchandised. 

 Comics and statues aside, an eBay search reveals a handful of Clayburn Moore sculpted figures and some modern model kits. Perhaps the most unforgettable piece of Vampirella memorabilia is the classic 1971 model kit by Aurora. 

A highly controversial full page comic book advert saw Vampirella miscast as an evil villainess in Dr. Deadly's Monster Scenes ensemble.

Vampirella's product box states she is the 'Asian Edition', which may suggest that other cultural versions will follow?

The aloof beauty of the face sculpt may reinforce the comic book origin and sense of subtle otherness that Vampirella is from another world. 

Head sculpts are subjective! Maybe the Caroline Munro sculpt featured on the retired Phicen figure 'Stella Star', would have given Vampirella the ideal look? 

This stunning seventies scream queen was initially chosen for the role of Vampirella, in a Hammer motion picture which in keeping with vampire mythos, never saw the light of day.

The Phicen/TBLeague action figure body design is a radically new concept. A figure is produced by moulding a seamless silicone skin over a stainless steel articulated armature for a lifelike look. 

 Thoughts of the futuristic T-X 'Terminatrix' spring to mind with its metal skeleton concealed beneath synthetic skin. Perhaps this revolutionary design process is the next evolutionary step in 1/6 scale action figure production? 

But could we be forgiven for wondering if Mattel's Matt Mason was the action figure who pioneered hidden-armature design? 

TB League have included a beautifully macabre display stand for their beautifully macabre vampiress. 

Made from polystone, the mound of grinning skulls and the toppled headstone reflect the comic cover world of Vampirella.

The set also includes a red cloak and a vampire bat which slips onto one of her interchangeable hands, to recreate the iconic Jose Gonzalez door poster pose. 

Vampirella was born to an era when Dennis Wheatley novels and Pan Horror books were best sellers... and good old fashioned 'X' rated Hammer horror films were must-see cinema sell-outs. 

 It was a time when the occult and its sexploitation sidekick were in vogue. Even today, the bewitching Vampirella bites into the our obsession for the irresistible fictional Vampire... she feeds upon our guilty fascination with sex and death.

 She is the forbidden pop culture pin-up girl who torments our collective psyche and continues to haunt our troubled dreams. 

Happy Halloween Monster Fans.

Tony K

fangs for the memories

Its good to put some vampire teeth in on Halloween.

There's a long tradition.

One of the earliest monster fangs I remember were these red lipped sets with the distinctive flared-outwards shape.

They were mostly party favours and vending machine treats along with other plastic icons like the peeping skeleton, which sat in your top pocket!

The flared toy fangs may have been influenced by B-movie monster flicks like I was A Teenage Werewolf .....

...and How To Make a Monster.

Another style of chomper was the sabre-tooth. Gone are the flares in favour of two long straight incisors, appearing at the mouth's sides as in the vampire section of Vault of Horror, Midnight Mess....

... or together in the middle as in Salem's Lot.

Such incisors featured in toys such as the Thingmaker Fright Factory, which are basically tusks! ....

... and these Ghoulish/ Ghoul Teeth, which featured plastic gums and press-on fangs, which I assume you could position how you wanted.

But I suppose the most common gnashers worn every Halloween are the classic hinged pair, usually in white, but my faves have to be these red Werewolf Teeth with the best blister card art this side of a full moon!

Will you be putting your teeth in this Halloween?

newsflash: trick or ....treat!

Its nearly time for ....

A proper raven-haired Halloween special to get yours fangs into!

Coming this 31st October!

by Tony Monster K!