HELLO GOOGLE

I recently sat alone in my daughter's living room with a Google Assistant. It's Google's answer to Alexa. Being in a room with an electronic presence is really quite odd and I was unsure what to say to be honest. Like sitting with a stranger.

So like all new relationships I used humour to get over my initial shyness! For God's sake this is a machine I assured myself.

Being Google-born I asked the same thing I asked Google on my laptop years ago, how do I find Chuck Norris. I was surprised that Assistant didn't give me the classic reply, You don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you. Assistant said she didn't understand, which was probably a problem understanding my accent rather than any Chuck ignorance.

I then tried asking did she [is Assistant a she? I just assumed she was, dunno why] know that other Google entity, Siri? She said she did and they get on very well. I could have asked about Cortana and Alexa but the fizz had gone out of my curiosity now.

One more question popped into my head though, is there a cheap Nuclear Ferry toy somewhere in the world I can get for twenty quid and could you get it for me?

With visions of a huge mortgage-munching bill heading my way I didn't even voice it and left Assistant to brood on the meaning of her digital life.

My daughter walked in the room and asked Assistant to put on some cartoon or other for our Grandson who'd just come down. No Chuck Norris, no Nuclear Ferry, just practical.

Hello Google she said with the confidence of the tech generation.

And so AI has thus entered our family unit, utilitarian and always on hand. 

It's not for me I don't think although somehow I wish it was. I feel that I may miss out on the turbo jet pack or robot rocket that must inevitably follow on from engaging with these devices. They are so very Thunderbirds after all and we deserve our jet packs.

Is it for you readers?

Goodbye Google.

GOOGLE+ IS UP THE SPOUT!

I've just been informed officially that Google+ has had it.

Due to a lack of interest in it by users Google are pulling the plug fully in April.

Before then signing in and commenting using Google + will end.

This is what Google say:

If you've used Google+ for comments on your own or other sites, this feature will be removed from Blogger by February 4th and other sites by March 7th. All your Google+ comments on all sites will be deleted starting April 2, 2019..

If you sign in to sites and apps using the Google+ Sign-in button, these buttons will stop working in the coming weeks but in some cases may be replaced by a Google Sign-in button. You'll still be able to sign in with your Google Account wherever you see Google Sign-in buttons

I don't use Google+ [but I am registered I think] and as far as I know the blog itself is not closely connected to it so it should be safe.

Blogger, the platform on which this blog sits, IS owned by Google though. so it always worries me when the titans of the internet start shifting and stretching. Small fry like blogs could easily get squished. We've seen it before with Yahoo, Orange and more.

Am I OK not to be worried readers by the demise of Google+?

Will it affect you here or elsewhere?

I AM NOT A GOOGLE

Earlier in the month I had to sign up for a temporary Google gmail account. I cannot recall why but it must have seemed imperative at the time in order to move cybernetically forward on something or other! I certainly never intended to use gmail.

Last night whilst checking various blog settings I saw that Google had changed my email address at the top of the blog to their new gmail! You what! 

Not wanting this new gmail to appear everywhere I set about trying to change what Google call my 'primary email'. I always forget that Blogger is owned by Google, despite the fact Google ask me to sign in now and then.

Re-setting my email required texts, recovery email addresses and who knows what. I was even asked if I would like to provide a photo and link all my devices to other people so that they know where I am at any time of the day! Sounding far too much like an Orwellian nightmare coming to roost I searched for the real me.

After about an hour of faffing about I managed to get back to my true identity and not Google's. I once more have my old freeserve email address I have had since I started online 20 years ago!

What with Google tracking me, Amazon launching a new food delivery service, Facebook mushrooming and apps appearing out of thin air I am beginning to feel like the Lawnmower Man in a cyber war!

At some point it will all connect and go sentient - like Cyberdine Systems in the Terminator or even worse, like Proteus in Demon Seed. We all know what happened there - the computer gave birth!

With parents like Google, Apple and Facebook - the meganets of Today - God knows what they'll give birth to Tomorrow! 

Sir Tim Berners-Lee must be googling in his flat beer wondering what the hell happened to the free web he invented.