HELLO GOOGLE

I recently sat alone in my daughter's living room with a Google Assistant. It's Google's answer to Alexa. Being in a room with an electronic presence is really quite odd and I was unsure what to say to be honest. Like sitting with a stranger.

So like all new relationships I used humour to get over my initial shyness! For God's sake this is a machine I assured myself.

Being Google-born I asked the same thing I asked Google on my laptop years ago, how do I find Chuck Norris. I was surprised that Assistant didn't give me the classic reply, You don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you. Assistant said she didn't understand, which was probably a problem understanding my accent rather than any Chuck ignorance.

I then tried asking did she [is Assistant a she? I just assumed she was, dunno why] know that other Google entity, Siri? She said she did and they get on very well. I could have asked about Cortana and Alexa but the fizz had gone out of my curiosity now.

One more question popped into my head though, is there a cheap Nuclear Ferry toy somewhere in the world I can get for twenty quid and could you get it for me?

With visions of a huge mortgage-munching bill heading my way I didn't even voice it and left Assistant to brood on the meaning of her digital life.

My daughter walked in the room and asked Assistant to put on some cartoon or other for our Grandson who'd just come down. No Chuck Norris, no Nuclear Ferry, just practical.

Hello Google she said with the confidence of the tech generation.

And so AI has thus entered our family unit, utilitarian and always on hand. 

It's not for me I don't think although somehow I wish it was. I feel that I may miss out on the turbo jet pack or robot rocket that must inevitably follow on from engaging with these devices. They are so very Thunderbirds after all and we deserve our jet packs.

Is it for you readers?

Goodbye Google.