After a trying day in work, I came home with the intention of posting a photo of a ten year old me with my favourite 'Sod Off!' badge. Leafing through old photos to find it, I came across shots of me and my dad on holiday. In the recent posts, ive remembered how he went to great lengths to find me toy cars and brought me my very first Spacex Space Patrol One. After an especially long works bender in Blackpool, several pints of strong ale and falling asleep on top of the piano, he got up nest day and visited the shops to find me a special present. Its over ten years now since he died and in that time I never really accepted the fact that he was truly gone and when id visit my mum who i lost just last New Years Eve, I always felt he was either in the kitchen washing dishes or laboring in his garden shed. The last twelve months have been difficult for me as that last outpost of home has now been removed and all the familiar little things, like his cap and coat behind the door of my mums house and his shed full of tools have now gone.
Next January, ill be fifty, but at times the years smudge like the faded paper of old photographs and im 7 again, its a simpler time and the excitement of saturday morning comics, new toy cars and the wonder of holidays and christmas fill me and he's there again, that quiet, powerful, capable and solid man. Always there when I had a problem, a question, a want or just my dad. Holding my hand and making it all okay again.
