During my Sixties childhood unarmed combat was a fact of life. Virtually everyone wanted to pound you. Often mere play-fighting but occasionally a more serious skirmish, these are the more notable techniques used, the dirty dozen:
1. Cowbite
Deployed by Big Brothers or your worst enemies: essentially a form of lethal squeeze, whereby the tender flesh of the victim's inner thigh is clasped in a claw-like manner and pressed together. Usually ends after significant screaming. Like the Dim Mak or death hand strike of Ancient Kung Fu, the cowbite is passed down from generation to generation of bullies.
2. Snakebite
Like the Cowbite this double-handed killer is similarly truth-inducing. Again, a form of hand to hand combat, the snakebite was basically a two-handed counter twist of the skin of the victim's lower arm. Carrying out the snakebite was guaranteed to get said victim to spill the beans or make rash promises about sweets, comics and household chores!
3. Treatment
The treatment was reserved for the female of the species and in particular sisters. Performed with great aplomb by brothers, the treatment involved picking up of said sister and swiftly spinning them round above the head. This swirling action would trigger a fit of banshee-like shrieking, which usually made a Parent come out to see which cat was being strangled!
4. Nose Tig and Flick
A subtle but irritating Ninja-like move, in which the executor points to the chest of the victim and says 'Ugh, what's that?', who on looking down, receives a mild touch of the finger on the nose. For minor frays, modest annoyance and gentle aggravation, especially of siblings, rivals and Parents. A much more aggressive form is the Nose Flick, in which the aggressor unleashes a strong finger-flicking strike on the targetted nose.
5. Nose Squeeze
One of the big guns of sibling combat, the nose squeeze was devastatingly simple and excruciatingly painful in the extreme. The victim's nose would be tightly squeezed and control could be gained over the entire body. Unreasonable deals were often made during this manouvre. An even more toxic variation was the nostril hook.
6. Ear Pull or Thick Ear
Popular amongst Mums of the Swinging Sixties, the 'thick ear' was either a rapid clip round the ear'ole with the palm of the hand or a nimble grab of the ear lobe rendering the child powerless. Often undertaken in public places, Home/ Father/Bed usually followed the thick ear.
7. Kick up the Bum [or Arse] or Slap on the Backside
Again a mild punitive strike by Parent's to encourage conformity. It featured either a kick or palm slap on one or both lobes of the young seat. For added leverage an arm would be clasped to attain maximum torque. This salvo was often done in shops.
8. Knuckle Butty
The Knuckle sandwich/ sarni or butty was most often alluded to by vexed Fathers as a deterrent to further childish miscreance, frequently whilst at Zoos, Parks or Weddings. Usually shortened to the alarming epithet 'Knuckle' and delivered in such memorable ways as 'Do that again Son and you'll get some knuckle' or 'are you gagging for some knuckle or what?'. The threats seldom need to be carried out.
9. Fat Lip/ Shiner/ Busted Nose
These are the injuries of the schoolyard: the wounds of the defeated or the trophies of a hard-won victory: fat lip is a swollen gob; shiner is a black-eye and busted nose is a bleeding hooter. They earn oodles of respect or scorn in equal measure depending on who was scrapping. Often accompanied by the tribal cry of 'scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap!' and resulting in a trip to Matron. Detention often followed.
10. Shin Kick
An exceedingly painful kick to the tender cut of the front leg. Can be delivered to either the trousered or untrousered shin and is best applied with a sturdy shoe such as a Brogue or a footy boot. A high stakes manouvre, which may be the catalyst for lethal retaliation and extended pounding.
11. The Dangling Spittle
Possibly the most uncooth of all the techniques mentioned and one reserved for the bitterest of skirmishes in the playground, the dangling spittle required the victim to be pinned down on his back by way of bicep kneeling. Rendered helpless, the assailant then produces a lengthy rope of spittle, which slowly descends towards the victim's face and for that special moment, towards the mouth. Driven to near-insanity by the descending grolly the assailant will then attempt the suck-back. This is a risky finale as the slobber may have reached a critical distance from which there is no return. This spit pie will result in a degree of wretching and gagging usually reserved for rotten meat.
12. The Face Fart
Like the Dangling Spittle, the face fart was obnoxious provocation in the extreme. More of a pungent insult than a debilitating strike, it required the victim to be kneeling or seated or in the worst-case scenario pinned down. The aggressor's rear end was then lowered next to or over their face and a select guff executed. Chemical warfare for the schoolyard or the soccer field, it was frequently known as a 'good gassing'.
Ah... many moons ago I was on the receiving end of the dreaded Snakebite. It was called the Chinese Burn down here. I guess this sounded more oriental to its local practitioners and more in keeping with the Kung Fu craze of the time. Either way, it was still painful enough to make me hand over the Spangles. Another local martial art move, this time drawn from Star Trek was the Doctor. Spock Death Pinch! This involved an exponent digging his thumb and forefinger into the flesh between the collar and neck of his victim and gripping as hard as he could, until the victim squealed in pain and paid a release fee of some description. Secretly, I always knew these local imposter's weren't true Vulcan practitioners... if they were, they'd have known it was 'Mr. Spock'... not Doctor Spock... huh !
ReplyDeleteThe chinese burn! That's such a good name for it! as for the Vulcan death grip, yep, a classic! I wonder how many victims actually fell to the floor as it was so lethal? There is of course the Vulcan mind meld but who knows whether that could work. You could just lie! And finally, I want a packet of spangles now! They were so good!
DeleteWoodsy... the Spangles are yours... just no more Chinese burns please. Oh, I just remembered another legendary playground Kung Fu move, which I'm sure you'll also remember - the lethal DEAD LEG! It was usually administered by a bigger Ninja. I recollect that those feared masters of martial arts mayhem would employ stealth to approach from the side, just beyond the range of our peripheral vision. Once through the visual radar... the Ninja was free to launch his jovial move at close range.....Oooooooch ! If only I had signed up for the Charles Atlas body building course which was always seemed to be advertised in silver age Marvel comics.
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks! and yes, the Dead Leg! A classic I'd forgotten. Is it where the taut leg is kneed from behind thus rendering it completely useless?
DeleteYes, that's the one Woodsy. Do you remember another form of old-skool unarmed combat called 'Slaps'. Two opponents would stand toe to toe like two undersize gladiators in 70s flared trousers. Hands would assume the praying position and be leveled horizontally towards that of ones opponent, where finger tips of both combatants would just touch. One person would be the attacker and attempt to suddenly slap the hands of the defender, who would use Jedi-like reflex to move his own hands out of the way, or else receive a stinging slap across the back of the hand. The Roman arena had nothing on the kidz of the 60s and 70s. Great blog post Woodsy, but it has brought back a few painful memories, lol
ReplyDeleteSlaps, of course! You're good at this! Glad you like the post!
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