Caught the movie Inanimate last night. The UK Horror Channel really bigged it up as a creature feature and FX fest. Starring Lance Henriksen, veteran of ALIENS, Millennium and Pumpkinhead, the mention of his name finally did it. I gave it a whirl.
I wish I hadn't. Made in 2015, it was a brazenly shameless ripoff of The THING, the iconic Carpenter polar horror from 1982.
Now The THING itself was a form of re-make, a homage to the much earlier Thing from Another World released in 1951, an important black and white Sci-Fi B-movie.
The 1951 flick was an amazing movie for its time, stuffed with menace and paranoia and delivered a real punch when the tall man-thing staggered into view like Lurch on ice.
Carpenter's THING took things to another level and added body-melting special FX to the pot and together with Kurt Russell and the crew of excellent actors the whole has become justifiably classic.
Inanimate adds nothing to the Thing manifest. A low-budget, ill-acted pile with cheap effects using rubber and milkshake. From the off it screamed either ALIEN or the THING and not pressing the off button became a test of will. It even includes a pair of tipping glass birds, which was I suppose a gentler nod to its inspiration and one I did appreciate.
Set on a polar crabbing ship captained by Lance Henriksen, the vessel houses an awkward bunch; its gritty crew and a team of genetic researchers including the Captain's daughter. The 'thing' comes in the form of a Soviet cosmonaut and his capsule [almost topical!], which had purportedly landed on the moon in secret in the Eighties but was lost when it touched down. Something touched down with it too and it wasn't borscht! Ter der!
I'll cut the drum roll short. Despite Lance Henriksen's grungy acting kudos I had to finally reach for the remote after a particularly cruddy FX scene involving wobbling rubbery body back tubes made from wellingtons and slicks of budget strawberry yoghurt sprayed round the walls and faces. Yum!
I was truly inanimate at this point.
Have you seen this mess?
I was taken in and fell victim to this frustrating Horror Channel 'must-see' a week or two ago, Woodsy. You've mentioned valid issues, however I was particularly irked by the overly dark sets. Poor lighting did nothing at all to establish atmosphere and only added to my confused sense of confusion, eye strain, and irritation. Not one I'd willingly sit through again!
ReplyDeleteSo you too succumb to the buttery voice of Emily Booth Tone! ha ha. Its easily done. She made Inanimate sound like a blockbuster! I know what you mean about the poor lighting, a sure sign of limited budgets. Ah well, in amongst the teenage dross and the cheap flops there are sometimes real gems on the channel - now and then!
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