Because I love Godzilla a lot and after a few reasonable years' gap, I've just re-watched the movie Godzilla King of the Monsters. I couldn't wait to see Ghidora, Rodan, Mothra and the Big Guy himself together again.
Alas, once more I found myself shouting at the TV screen.
Never in the history of monster movies has such a fabulous gathering of Kaiju been ruined by actors and weather.
The entire film was shot in an eternal misty night with more rain lashing down in two hours than in the last two million years. You could hardly see anything at all. A billion dollars filmed in a shower with the lights off.
Even worse where the interminable helicopters, choppers and gunships incessantly whizzing in front of the camera and blotting out any chance of seeing the very beasts we came to see. Not only that but they were in a permanent state of tilting and turning and keeling with the crews flying about in every direction yelling their heads off. The action was unrelenting, irritating, loud and tedious.
I don't think there was a single moment of calm and steady monster filming in the whole disaster. They need to watch Night of the Demon to see how its done and watch it a hundred times before doing another! Even Matthew Broderick's New York Zilla was way better than this! At least it was filmed in daylight!
The soundscape was awful too, a confused morass of notes and riffs from previous US Godzilla films interspersed with corny Japanesque motifs when Godzilla was onscreen. Its either American OR Japanese, not both!
But worse, much worse than all of this were the humans. I've never seen such a huge frenetic mess created by so many actors all at once. If the rain didn't drown the film than the sentiment sure did. It was off the scale. Two completely useless and self-righteous parents constantly losing their ridiculously headstrong daughter, then finding her, then losing her and dragging half the US Army with them to find here just one more time for good measure. For God's sake, get her and leave the set!
And who is that leading man? I know he was in Super 8, but c'mon, he can't act! Bring back Brian Cranston! and as much as I enjoyed the Conjuring, Vera Farmiga was wholly miscast as the female lead, her face utterly dour throughout the entire thing as if she was in mourning for Annabelle. Not even the gravitas of one Charles Dance, he of ALIEN 3, could rescue the roster from wholesale tedium and the final act of self-sacrifice by Ken Watanabe's Japanese Professor became subsumed into the dark, wet, noisy and chaotic maelstrom of the finale rendering it powerless.
MONARCH should have been called SCHMALZ. The characters had more baggage than the Royal Family. Even Godzilla looked like he'd had enough of them! Let the Kaiju do the talking and the humans should just shut the **** up!
Rant over, just my opinion.
Long live the King!
Come on Woodsy.
ReplyDeleteSpeak your mind son !
It had to be said Mish. I'm hoping the New Empire re-sets the dial.
DeleteWow. You normally like monster and superhero movies, even the ones I can not stand, so for you to be so critical of this one - it must really be bad. Why do so many film-makers think shooting a movie at night, and in the rain, somehow makes it Deep and Meaningful ?
ReplyDeleteha ha, I like that Paul, deep and Meaningful! I've still got two more hours of The Batman to watch and that was essentially the first full hour in a rain-swept night as well! ha ha. Deep and meaningful!
DeleteI echo Mish. What did you really think of the movie?
ReplyDeleteAsk Gojira Terran, even he looked cheesed off.
DeleteI did like The Mist and The Fog…
ReplyDeleteAh, you mean the films! Yes, but there was plenty of daylight in between the misty and foggy bits! I think the Mist movie still has the biggest land creature in it ever, towards the end, when it walks over the road... and the forest ... and the telegraph poles!
DeleteGlad to hear you have come to your senses, Woodsy! These new blockbuster Hollywood Kaiju movies are just an exercise in excess, not the least of which is the incessant need for complicated CGI effects to make the whole film look like a video game. Loud, busy and without soul. I was dragged to see Pacific Rim years ago, and I looked at the screen in horror and said, "What am I watching?" And yes, filming everything in some eternal blue night must be some sort of requirement for these bad films. Long live Showa-Era Godzilla! SFZ
ReplyDeleteGodzilla Minus One is worth seeing SF, a modern Toho and completely different to the current Monarch mush. I've yet to see the earlier Shin Godzilla, but I understand it was a return to Toho's roots. I'm hoping but not holding my breath that the latest US Godzilla flick, Godzilla and Kong: A New Empire has lost the schmalz!
DeleteYES INDEED! Although Shin Godzilla played fast and loose with the original legend, it has the best cliffhanger ending EVER. I'm so glad they never continued that story!
DeleteYay, Godzilla and the gang in a big punch-up. Alas, despite trying to watch this 3 times now, I have failed to get to the end without falling asleep, turning over to the 'watch paint dry' channel, or being distracted by something more entertaining (eg looking at Moonbase Central).
ReplyDeleteJust too little 'monsters go smush', and too much faffing around and bouncing between boats, subs, ships, helicopters, Monarch and everyone else. My brain just kept shutting down trying to keep track of who's on whatever 'side' , which beastie is wherever doing whatever, waaahhh!
You've hot the kaiju on the head there Anon ... way too much faff and not enough smash! Get rid of the actors and let the monsters monster! Yes!
DeleteTell us what you really feel Woodsy! hahahahaha I haven't seen a new movie - about anything - in many years. I just grew out of movie watching. Looks like I haven't missed much.
ReplyDeleteDo you watch movies at home Ed?
DeleteWe used to, but kinda got bored with them. I can't even bear to watch reruns of old TV shows I really loved when I was younger. That said, we'll watch an occasional favorite if we happen to catch it on TV.
DeleteI'm afraid I just like the old 1950s & 1960s Godzilla movies.
ReplyDeleteAkira Ifukube doing the music.
He was the Japanese John Williams.
I have heard people say "Godzilla Minus One" is good, but I haven't seen it.
Scott, yes, Godzilla Minus One is worth seeing. A totally different take on the story and wholly Japanese in style and ethos. Minus One refers to less than zero, i.e. an even worse disaster than before - I think anyway!
Delete