Years ago I suggested that missing missiles could be found in the kitchen.
I called these replacements "Johnny Lemon" and with tongue very firmly in cheek I blogged about them [you can follow this bitter trail by clicking its label below]
So when I recently saw some huge foam NERF gun ammunition in a toy shop I was inspired to up the ante and max out my Johnny.
In a post-news world were size matters the One Man Army has gone fake-large.
I give you Johnny 7 Up!
Not to be tried at home .... even I haven't!
First Up we have the 1 litre PARTY CRASHER.
This is a modified empty 7Up bottle ready to serve and I don't mean drinks. This air-rammed guzzle tube will turn any kids' Birthday into a Battlefield where only the fizziest survive!
When the Trifle needs rifle, when the jelly needs welly, when the pies need GI's this is all you need.
The PARTY CRASHER!
No-one gets any cake!
Last but not least and for that most dangerous of ropey war zones, I bring you the THE TENT FLATTENER!
The TF is a 19-litre air-filled camping water butt mega-missile that will turn your Johnny 7 into a canvas-levelling piledriver.
Equally lethal in the garden during summer tent nights or the family camping trip in August, the TENT FLATTENER will flatten a tent in one single salvo of plastic damnation. Your tented siblings, friends and rivals will be pounded like pillows whilst you sing Awning has Broken!
The TENT FLATTENER
Can you think of any more harmless but spectacular spoof ways to beef up the 7Up range readers?